(… but would love for you to figure out on your own)
1. It’s fine if you split the entrée with someone, or even dessert, but a drink too? Come on! You aren’t at the Ritz.. unless you are, of course.
2. Don’t snap your fingers at us if you want our attention. Take note that we have a large collection of steel knives in the kitchen.
3. If we bring the food late, it isn’t our fault. Before you go off on us innocent souls, remember that we do not cook the food as well as serve them.
We’re too busy ensuring that the rest of your dining experience is at least worthwhile.
4. Don’t come in half an hour before closing time. Your food (to be honest) won’t taste as good as other times.
You know why? We’re too busy cleaning up to go home.
You know why? Most of us have lives too.
5. Treat us well. Once waiters/waitresses realise that we hate a customer, most of our minds work solely on self-control.
People with more of it are able to handle their anger, people with less of it think of terrible plots of revenge.
Thankfully, I don’t know anyone (myself included) who’ve actually done any mean deeds, but doesn’t the possibility just scare you?
6. If we make a mistake with your dish, give us a chance to correct it. Always remember that we have the real jurisdiction over what goes into your food or drink.
Yes, you may be the one to have chosen those delicious-looking pita sandwiches, but you didn’t choose where the pita was before it landed on your plate.
7. If you ask us what’s good here, and if we say something like, “Oh, just about everything!”- and I think you’ve already figured this one out, we are lying.
As waiters and waitresses, we would’ve tried everything, and thus know what really is good, and what tastes bad.
8. We like tips. OK. So this isn’t a secret. Busboys like them, delivery people like them, cabdrivers like them.
In fact, it’s crazy that some outlets don’t have service charge. It should be cardinal law by now! I’ve had some experiences with kind people and bad ones.
Me: Here’s your bill, Sir.
Customer: Thanks. *hands me cash*. Don’t you love customers like me who give the exact change?
Me: We prefer customers who give tips.
He chuckles brightly, but I had wondered if he thought me a fool.
Then he slipped RM 10 across the counter. Turns out I’m not a fool.
9. Try not to leave a mess. I say try, because no matter what, a mess is what most likely awaits us.
We don’t like going after scraps all over the table and floor. It may be our “job”, but our bet is that you don’t like doing the same after your own family- much less complete strangers.
10. Avoid making special demands if it’s crowded.
If you want us to serve you brownies with ice cream ON THE SIDE, fine. A separate bowl? Fine. Extra chocolate sauce? I’d encourage it.
But don’t ask us to “layer 3 different flavours of ice cream, and make sure the brownies aren’t touched by any of it”. What’s next? Arranging the almonds so it spells out your name?
11. Don’t order something if you don’t quite know what it is (like a latte), and demand a new one because it tastes “too milky”.
Lattes are meant to be mostly skimmed milk.
I had a customer once return a latte I made because of this, and I was shocked! (I never forget these kinds of things. I mean, I’ve made too many lattes to ever accidentally put too much milk or forget to steam it, and I always do it the same way, and no one ever complains, and… OK, moving on).
Anyway, I made a new one. He returned it again. So I made it again. He comes to the bar, and addresses me. “All I taste is the milk,” he told me. “Don’t you know how to make a latte?”
You know what I did?
I sent him a cup of good old Nescafe!
1. It’s fine if you split the entrée with someone, or even dessert, but a drink too? Come on! You aren’t at the Ritz.. unless you are, of course.
2. Don’t snap your fingers at us if you want our attention. Take note that we have a large collection of steel knives in the kitchen.
3. If we bring the food late, it isn’t our fault. Before you go off on us innocent souls, remember that we do not cook the food as well as serve them.
We’re too busy ensuring that the rest of your dining experience is at least worthwhile.
4. Don’t come in half an hour before closing time. Your food (to be honest) won’t taste as good as other times.
You know why? We’re too busy cleaning up to go home.
You know why? Most of us have lives too.
5. Treat us well. Once waiters/waitresses realise that we hate a customer, most of our minds work solely on self-control.
People with more of it are able to handle their anger, people with less of it think of terrible plots of revenge.
Thankfully, I don’t know anyone (myself included) who’ve actually done any mean deeds, but doesn’t the possibility just scare you?
6. If we make a mistake with your dish, give us a chance to correct it. Always remember that we have the real jurisdiction over what goes into your food or drink.
Yes, you may be the one to have chosen those delicious-looking pita sandwiches, but you didn’t choose where the pita was before it landed on your plate.
7. If you ask us what’s good here, and if we say something like, “Oh, just about everything!”- and I think you’ve already figured this one out, we are lying.
As waiters and waitresses, we would’ve tried everything, and thus know what really is good, and what tastes bad.
8. We like tips. OK. So this isn’t a secret. Busboys like them, delivery people like them, cabdrivers like them.
In fact, it’s crazy that some outlets don’t have service charge. It should be cardinal law by now! I’ve had some experiences with kind people and bad ones.
Me: Here’s your bill, Sir.
Customer: Thanks. *hands me cash*. Don’t you love customers like me who give the exact change?
Me: We prefer customers who give tips.
He chuckles brightly, but I had wondered if he thought me a fool.
Then he slipped RM 10 across the counter. Turns out I’m not a fool.
9. Try not to leave a mess. I say try, because no matter what, a mess is what most likely awaits us.
We don’t like going after scraps all over the table and floor. It may be our “job”, but our bet is that you don’t like doing the same after your own family- much less complete strangers.
10. Avoid making special demands if it’s crowded.
If you want us to serve you brownies with ice cream ON THE SIDE, fine. A separate bowl? Fine. Extra chocolate sauce? I’d encourage it.
But don’t ask us to “layer 3 different flavours of ice cream, and make sure the brownies aren’t touched by any of it”. What’s next? Arranging the almonds so it spells out your name?
11. Don’t order something if you don’t quite know what it is (like a latte), and demand a new one because it tastes “too milky”.
Lattes are meant to be mostly skimmed milk.
I had a customer once return a latte I made because of this, and I was shocked! (I never forget these kinds of things. I mean, I’ve made too many lattes to ever accidentally put too much milk or forget to steam it, and I always do it the same way, and no one ever complains, and… OK, moving on).
Anyway, I made a new one. He returned it again. So I made it again. He comes to the bar, and addresses me. “All I taste is the milk,” he told me. “Don’t you know how to make a latte?”
You know what I did?
I sent him a cup of good old Nescafe!
hahaha hilarious!
witty and well-written. me likey!
x